Thought Experiments in Love

[Intro – Opening greeting & purpose]

Hello, friends! Welcome back to my blog. Time has flown by—more than half a year has passed since my divorce. After four months of single life, an unexpected new relationship has now been with me for nearly three months.

During this time, I’ve not only rediscovered the joy of loving and being loved, but also begun to conduct what I call “thought experiments” about intimacy and relationships.

[Part 1 – A Trigger for Reflection]

One day, she told me: “We’ve been together for two months now, and I’m still not tired of it. In the past, I’d start feeling bored after just over a month.”

Her words struck me deeply. They made me wonder: why does she accept me and lean on me? And how is this relationship different from those in her past—and mine?

Even before she said this, I had already spent time alone reflecting on us. I knew that pure biochemical impulses couldn’t sustain a long-term future. That awareness pushed me to think more carefully about what makes love endure.

[Part 2 – Thought Experiment I: Time and Patience]

I’ve always been strict—almost harsh—about punctuality. In the past, I had little tolerance for lateness of any kind.

But when she was late for one of our dates, I felt emotions rising within me. So I stepped outside myself, as if watching from beside my own shoulder, and observed the flow of that emotion.

I realized it wasn’t really impatience. It was eagerness—the urgency of wanting to see someone you love. Taking back control, my feelings shifted from irritation to anticipation.

[Part 3 – Thought Experiment II: The Past and Openness]

Many couples avoid mentioning their exes. Yet on the very first day we met, I told her much about my ex-wife.

She didn’t react with discomfort or judgment. She simply listened quietly, then comforted me. When I asked, “Doesn’t it bother you when I talk about this?” she said, “No, it’s a way for me to know you better.”

That moment allowed me to reveal a softer side of myself—something I rarely showed before. In work and in social circles, I often wore the mask of being strong, brave, and reliable. But deep down, there were vulnerable parts of me that had little chance to see the light.

Her kindness changed me. Later, when she shared her own past, I listened in the same way—not judging, but walking with her through her memories, and holding her afterward. Just as she painted color into my once black-and-white life, I wanted to illuminate the quiet corners of hers.

[Part 4 – Opening Up Instead of Holding Back]

Rather than suppressing myself, I was extending myself. During those months of solitude, I had already emptied my heart. And now, what opens up is a heart spacious enough to hold new things.

It feels like a responsibility—not to let down the gift she gave me: the chance to feel the flow of love again.

[Conclusion – Moving Forward & Takeaways]

Perhaps only when you have nothing can you truly hold everything. Only by emptying yourself can you make room for someone else’s whole existence.

When I was rebuilding myself, she appeared—and began walking with me. This time, I believe I’ll go far.

As my motto says: Amor Fati. Love your fate.